4/12

I am just rapidly running out of time and I need to give you some quick updates... First off, I don't think I am allowed to talk on Mother's Day ::((( Don't worry though I get to call you when I leave for DC I think 23rd ish. I will let you know deets :) Mom, if you are sending me a package I was going to let you know you can send me the skirt even if it's not hemmed cause they have a place here that does it. But I want to tell you not to worry about sending me anything. You have been going through alot and I feel like I have been very high maintenance and I am so so sorry. I hope you are doing better? I pray for you all in every single prayer individually.

This week was super good A because the little surprise I received in an easter egg (PS every knew I was suspecting it so my whole district joined me to watch me open it and join in on the "BEAR'S HAVING A BABY" party.) Also I feel bad I was being super negative last week and I feel like I need to keep being reminded of how I should be acting. And this week I was reminded time and time again. When I have responsibility placed in my hands I feel more accountable and want to be better. So my apostle of a teacher interviewed me and we had the most enlightening conversation I have about ever experienced. He said he was really worried about my district and (I feel dumb saying it but it applies to my learning experience), but said I was the only one on the right track and challenged me to "establish Zion"starting with my district. He said the measure of my success as a missionary is dependent on how much success I help others achieve. So the moment I stop caring about my personal success is when I become successful because I am helping others. The whole losing yourself in the work thing really works. I have a longgg wayy to go though. It's hard cause as coordinating sister you are supposed to follow the rules with exactness and be an example for everyone, but my comp has a REALLY hard time with rules. So where is the balance between being a good comp and good missionary!? I don't know still to be honest. But with both of the responsibilities placed in my hands I feel motivated to be better. So I definitely had an attitude change this week. We gave lesson 2 this week to a native who spoke really fast Spanish and I struggled. He laughed at me during my prayer cause I couldn't pronounce his name :( ! Anyway I was so distressed about that and learned ONCE AGAIN that I wasa focusing too much on myself and my inadequacies. I can't focus on my investigator's if I am absorbed in my problems. It's sad I keep having to be reminded of that, but the next time I did lesson 2, I tried to follow the Spirit and the needs of my investigators and it went much better.

I have like one min I just wanted to say I love you all and hope everything is going wellll :) YOu are all da bessstttt!!! BEAR! BABY!!!! AHHHH. PS sorry for being high maintenance! I just was feeling un poco homesick jussss cause I love you all so much. But I realize for whatever reason every big event decided to happen while I was gone? For less than a month? So I understand you are all busy enjoying life :) MWUAH! LOVE YOU ALL!