5/26

UMMMM

WOW I don't even know where to start. Primer dia en el campo misional! And tal vez one of the best in my life. I have not even been in the field a full day and you will not believe the miracles I have seen!

First off, I am SO sorry about not calling you Bear and Tonz in between flights. We were literally running cause our flight came in late and we barely made it. I kind of wanted to cry cause I had so many questions I wanted to ask you. I feel like I was just rambling about random details and I didn't get to hear about all the super exciting things going on in your life right now. SO sorry we will do it over letters for now I guess :( BUT talking to you all was the best/worst moment of my life cause I was so overjoyed and despues a little trunky. Also, you will not believe who I saw the moment I arrived at the VC? THE SOUTERS! YEAH. My face dropped I was so shocked and excited. Mother please call Julie and tell her A. what a BLESSING and TENDER MERCY it was to see them and that I will remember that moment forever! And B. I am so sorry I realized later I didn't even say hi to any of my wonderful Souter male family members. Maybe subconsciously I felt awkward and didn't know if I was allowed to hug them or what. But tell them I love them all and I am so sorry I was unable to stay and talk. I thought my mission pres was serious at first when he was giving me a hard time and later found out he wasn't.

K so WOW I don't even know where to start. Yesterday was amazing cause it was just a bunch of eating, sleeping, and playing ping pong and orientation. Just cause we had a red eye flight so we got to take it easy. Today we went to a temple session and even though we had to use the restroom so badly we stayed in the celestial room forever cause the spirit was so strong. And little do we know it was also because of a woman named Carolyn was waiting outside. Now I expected maybe 6 months in to be able to say "I KNOW I am supposed to be here to meet this person and wouldn't change my mission for an other place in the world," but had NO idea I would be able to say it the first day! So we walked outside the temple and bypass this German woman with her Islamic and Russian inlaws (EVERYONE here is foriegn) and we were like "uh huh, we need to go back and talk to her" so we walk all the way back and she was like, "I don't know what to do, I need to get inside this building cause God is trying to communicate with me that I need to receive revelation in this building. He wants to give me a gift (endowment perhaps?) that I can only receive in here. How can I do this?" My heart probably visibly leaped out of my chest. I was astounded. The rest of the conversation went similar to that. She looked into my eyes and said, "I have seen you before, I KNOW it" and then gave me the biggest hug and agreed very full heartedly to meet with the missionaries. We won't be able to teach her cause she is not in our area nor Spanish, but she is SO ready for it! Oh my goodness. AND (first offf I have the BEST comps en el mundo- they only let the best of the best train now a days and I really do have the best of the best)- she said "Did they pray before they put you three together? I feel a magnestism between you three and I know you are meant to be together! This REALLY happened! The only people I have talked to today accepted our commitments. First, at the referral center the man agreed to see the missionaries. Then, Carolyn. We invited a random man on the streets to come to the VC SAT for an exhibit and he said yes!! And just now, I stopped typing for about 10 min cause the man next to me asked me why we don't pray in the name of Christ. I told him we did and we would love to clear up some of his misconceptions and share more about the church and he said yes! Like, REALLY!? I feel like crying I am so overjoyed right now. I love it here and I wouldn't trade it for any mission in the whole world. PS this is for Stephanie, remember that blog we stalked before I left? She is one of my comps! Crazzyyy. They really are AMAZING I feel so fortunate. I know a lot of rejection and trials are ahead cause well, it's the mission, but in all honesty those moments today has made it all worth it already and I know miracles will continue to happen if we live worthily because God will place those that are prepared in our path. Ah I have to go... But please please be safe and write me and let me know how you are all doing. PS DC is the most BEAUTIFUL and GREEN place I have about ever seen. Especially the 40 acre forest around the temple! We got to go off alone and pray. That was an incredible experience on it's own. OH And we are about to invite the man at the front desk who loved that us gringas could speak spanish with him to church Sunday. We'll see how it goes. Lovw you all be safe and happy!

5/20

HOLA for the last time in the CCM! I never thought this day would come. Lo siento for not writing yesterday, I am in Vistors Center training and my whole schedule is different once again. K so...  MONDAY. My flight technically doesn't leave until 1 AM from SL. So I meet at the travel office at 8:30 and they said 30 min to get there and 45 to check in. SO I should be able to call by 10 PM my time or I think that is 9 your time? Find out cause I don't know the time difference. I know all of you are super busy so you should see if you can three way with Britt and Bear if they can't be there. If so, great :) I am soooo excited. I also will have the opportunity to call in my layover in Atlanta but that's like 3 AM your time so don't worry about it. But I can only talk for about an hour since I will be using a pay phone and its like .25/min. But I would give every penny I had to talk to you all right now. Please keep your phone on all day though cause sometimes we get a five min call beforehand?

SO this week was horrible slash wonderful. My whole district left so not only was (am) I solo, I was non existent. I can't even explain to you how sad and weird it feels. They are like my second family and I had to just wander in different districts for two days until training started. I never really expressed how much I loved my district. They were my hermanitos. And hilarious. I will have to tell you some of our funny stories on the phone. We just love each other and it was hard to say goodbye cause I had to stay here and try to live normal MTC life? Luckily training started on Wednesday. Which also had mixed emotions about. Sometimes in learning about giving tours and all that I just wanted to cry again cause it so isn't me. But then I was humbled and remembered IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. The myriad of times I have had to remind myself of that here is discouraging. But we had TRC yesterday and set up this big room as a visitor's center with a Christus and like stations with REAL PEOPLE. Probably the strongest I have ever felt the spirit was last night. One girl who lost her grandfather and I were both emotional as I was explaining how through temple ordinances the family unit is eternal. It was so great. So I am excited:) OH and the girls are the most amazing beautiful inside and out girls I have ever met. Most are going to temple square and are from other countries (28/32 of them are foreigners). Right next to me are the most beautiful hilarious Australian girls. It's really NEAT. We get to go to temple square tomorrow afternoon!

I hope you are all doing well. I am writing you individual letters today cause I know things have been a bit challenging back at home. LOVE YOU SO!

4/12

I am just rapidly running out of time and I need to give you some quick updates... First off, I don't think I am allowed to talk on Mother's Day ::((( Don't worry though I get to call you when I leave for DC I think 23rd ish. I will let you know deets :) Mom, if you are sending me a package I was going to let you know you can send me the skirt even if it's not hemmed cause they have a place here that does it. But I want to tell you not to worry about sending me anything. You have been going through alot and I feel like I have been very high maintenance and I am so so sorry. I hope you are doing better? I pray for you all in every single prayer individually.

This week was super good A because the little surprise I received in an easter egg (PS every knew I was suspecting it so my whole district joined me to watch me open it and join in on the "BEAR'S HAVING A BABY" party.) Also I feel bad I was being super negative last week and I feel like I need to keep being reminded of how I should be acting. And this week I was reminded time and time again. When I have responsibility placed in my hands I feel more accountable and want to be better. So my apostle of a teacher interviewed me and we had the most enlightening conversation I have about ever experienced. He said he was really worried about my district and (I feel dumb saying it but it applies to my learning experience), but said I was the only one on the right track and challenged me to "establish Zion"starting with my district. He said the measure of my success as a missionary is dependent on how much success I help others achieve. So the moment I stop caring about my personal success is when I become successful because I am helping others. The whole losing yourself in the work thing really works. I have a longgg wayy to go though. It's hard cause as coordinating sister you are supposed to follow the rules with exactness and be an example for everyone, but my comp has a REALLY hard time with rules. So where is the balance between being a good comp and good missionary!? I don't know still to be honest. But with both of the responsibilities placed in my hands I feel motivated to be better. So I definitely had an attitude change this week. We gave lesson 2 this week to a native who spoke really fast Spanish and I struggled. He laughed at me during my prayer cause I couldn't pronounce his name :( ! Anyway I was so distressed about that and learned ONCE AGAIN that I wasa focusing too much on myself and my inadequacies. I can't focus on my investigator's if I am absorbed in my problems. It's sad I keep having to be reminded of that, but the next time I did lesson 2, I tried to follow the Spirit and the needs of my investigators and it went much better.

I have like one min I just wanted to say I love you all and hope everything is going wellll :) YOu are all da bessstttt!!! BEAR! BABY!!!! AHHHH. PS sorry for being high maintenance! I just was feeling un poco homesick jussss cause I love you all so much. But I realize for whatever reason every big event decided to happen while I was gone? For less than a month? So I understand you are all busy enjoying life :) MWUAH! LOVE YOU ALL!

4/19

Oh haiiiii!

Super good week. Remember how Bear is pregnant!? AHHHH. What else is new in M town? I really want to know. If World War 3 started we would have no idea here. BRITT! Dis is importante- are you still here in Provo? I just got your letter and am super saddened by the fact that you couldn't drop those cookies off. Or that you didn't get my letter? THANK YOU though. You are da best!

SO time is finally feeling like it's flying. I am halfway done here in the CCM. It's weird cause you can't imagine life before or after here. I don't even really have much to say cause it's all kind of the same thing. I got letter from all 3 of you sisters yesterday and it was probably the best day thus far for that reason.

I can tell the Lord is trying to prepare me for the VC cause I can not, for the life of me, talk in front of people as you well know. Every Sunday we all have to prepare a talk (in Spanish of course) and you never know if you're going to get called. I assumed I wouldn't cause a whole district who had never spoken was leaving so I very poorly prepared one. Our last speaker spoke and they called me up and I was just saying words in Spanish I really don't think it made sense. Most people wouldn't care, but I am a harrible public speecher (remember that?). Then I had to teach a lesson. Then I had to read in front of the whole CCM. I don't do well with all dat.

My comp was sick this week so I had 2 days stuck in my room. You can't sleep nor leave. So I had some longgg study time. Also the BEST I have about ever had. It's weird how strongly you can feel the spirit while just alone in your room while your comp is asleep. But I felt like I re received my answer on how true the church is. I also have been thinking about dad alot lately and I was reading about the Spirit World and oh goodness I felt the Spirit testify so strongly of how real the Spirit World is and how it is here on earth. I think sometimes we forget how AMAZING that is

I have met some of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life here. Another story- an Elder lost his dad literally two days before he entered the MTC. And he still came very faithfuylly and prepared to serve. He just told me he just got baptised a year ago ish and left his football scholarship at USC (BIG deal) to serve a mission. This other elder got called 30 min from his home, called the MTC, they called him back and told him the lady was crying on the other side of the phone and said that the prophet personally brought up his call in the temple and said it was where he was supposed to be. Mission calls are truly from the Lord even if they aren't where we want or expect. YEAH. I JUST SAID THAT! Anyway so I lost all m y favs and am super sad about it. I lost my entire room except my comp. We got 2 comps this week and they are both gone. We lost two girls in my district. and now my favorite sisters (all from Japan!) just left today. They hardly know any english so every night we would have very broken conversations and they would teach me japanese and I would help them with English. I love how many different kinds of people here. Lots of Polys! I loove it. And my comp and I are getting along so well. We love eacu udder

Anyway please update me on sus vidas por favor! You have no idea how much I miss you all. I know I am supposed to be here and wow I didn't even realize how much my testimony was lacking until I realized how real it all is here. I love it. I love you all be safe and happyyyy!!!

PS I saw pics of Easter Pageant on lds.org and about lost it. I am super jealous.

PS TAWN I HAV LETR 4 U I LUV U:p

4/28

Familia!

Remember how Bear is pregggnannnnttt/??!!!  WHAT! Sorry for not writing Tuesday they changed my pday and our whole schedule. The MTC is experiencing some massive changes right now in scheduling and all that and we're caught right in the middle of it so this week has been very different. But good! Especially cause we have two apostles come in the past two weeks. Elder Scott and Oaks. It was amazing. Elder Scott bore a very powerful testimony of Christ that just solidified my testimony even more. I have learned a lot of interesting facts about the apostles and seeing them made it that much cooler. That being "special witnesses" REQUIRES a sure knowledge. And we know the scriptural definition of SURE knowledge. He said, "I don't believe Christ is a resurrected, glorified being. I KNOW it". It was intense. Then he very powerfully conferred upon us the gift of tongues. The cool thing about that was the next day I taught a lesson with no notes and it went really well! My Spanish was just coming out without me thinking and I've gotten to the point where I don't have to translate what I hear in my head or read in English to understand. Don't get me wrong, I have days where you would never think I have been here for so long cause my Spanish will sound so poor. It's sad. And sometimes I accidently teach falso doctrine in lessons when I misunderstand a question. But the gift of tongues really is REAL! We also got a new companion slash roommate from Bolivia and DC and she has helped a lot. However I have twice been asked my natives where my accent was coming from. In Bolivia you don't pronounce the letter S so I catch myself doing that sometimes.

We also got 3 other native sisters and two new districs so I have been spending my Wednesday and Thursday nights teaching them how to make good goals, have comp inventory and all that good stuff. It's so weird cause I remember when they came and taught me and I thought I would never get to that point, but now I am considered OLD? Weird.

I'm secretly relieved pag is over cause I was so sad every night when I would think that it was happing and I wasn't there. But I obviously know I am where I am supposed to be :)

I love you all and hope all is welllll. I really really super bad extremely lots and lots miss you.

5/6

Querida familia,

Halllooo! Estoy animada para hablar con uds muy pronto ::))) I have letters for each of you on way to respond to your crazy exciting lives. Everything is going great. Time is winding down and I am ready to enter Babylon. Actually, I am terrified to teach real people in Spanish cause I am beyond inadequate. But I have learned this week especially how where I lack, the Spirit will fill in. I made a goal to never use notes in my lessons and to really teach to the investigators needs this week and it made SUCH a difference. We have a new teacher (AGAIN) Hno Koller and he is our progressive investigator. So he acts exactly like one of his converts Jonatón and never gives us feedback. We give him assignments and he may or may not them according to how strongly we challenged him, but more importantly how effectively the Spirit communicated with him. Anyway, it was AMAZING. The first lesson he brought up the death of his sister so we didn´t teach the first lesson at all with him. The Spirit directed us both in the same direction and the Spirit was so strong. I didn´t know that was possible in role playing but when I shared my experience with Dad and Rachel he and I were verging on tears. It was just really powerful and our lessons have improved a lot because we are being more receptive to the spirit. Occassionally I will totally blow it and my Spanish will be awful and so my focus is on myself and the Spirit isn´t as evident and I get really down on myself. So I was just like hating life and all that the every day cause I was screwing everything up and being snappy and then Hna Moulten could tell I was beating myself up, and literally started crying saying that she sees so much potential that I don´t. I once again had to be reminded to stop thinking about myself and my inadequacies. I really do love and appreciate that girl so much. We´ve had some problems in our zone with sisters lately. They are all AMAZING, but alot of girls having open crushed on boys, not observing residence rules, and one girl is just homesick and considering going home. So I am in the process of conducting interviews and I asked Hna Moutlon to be in on them cause she herself went through all of these things and has overcome each of them. It´s amazing how she improves every day and how much she is able to help out the other sisters. I feel super annoying be the uptight rule enforcer. I didn´t expect to be that person, but I have seen how many blessings come from following the rules with EXACTNESS. I really do LOVE the girls in our zone, though. I feel super blessed to have been surrounded by the most amazing people I have about ever met here. My favs are the cafeteria workers. Tawn, you would die. They are all adult workers with special needs and they are my bffs. They are the sweetest people I have ever met. One lady, Nora, probably about 60 years old gave me this beaded lizard she made last night. I love it. They make my day every single day. I feel like my thoughts are jumping all over the place. I never can remember my week until after I email so you´ll have to excuse my random thoughts. And incorrect grammar. I start feeling physical anxiety just thinking about emailing cause they have these large red numbers counting down every second and ahhh. So I got to be a host yesterday! It was cool cause I didn´t have the typical experience entering the MTC cause I was like 3 hours late. Chevre, I know. I didn´t get books or to go to my room or get a host. But I experienced it yesterday got to see them leave Babylon and enter the CCM. They were all super nervous and wanting to die and cry but they were awesome girls. And I got a cute Samoan. PS there are more polys than white people here and they are my BFFs (after the cafeteria workers). Oh no tengo tiempo pero LES AMO MUCHO!!!! I hope everything is superbien at home, I miss you oh so much sometimes I want to just run home. But really I do know I am supposed to be here. I was supposed to enter March 16th, going to dc. I really do know that. LOVE YOU BE SAFE N HAPPY!!!

Love,

Hermana Allen

PS thanks for the Easter stuff AGAIN we hid eggs at 650 in the morning and surprised our elders. They secretly loved it eventhough they´d never admit it. Love you so so so so your letters are coming promise.

5/12/2011

Hola familia!!

First off, I hope you got your Mother's Day Card and all that and I am soo sorry if it didn't get there by Mother's Day. I actually haven't had a crying problem at all here cause we're always busy and the spirit is strong, but Mother's Day was hard for me and everytime someone said anything about mothers I started crying. I miss you so much. Especially cause the initial reason I wasn't going to go on a mission was cause I didn't want to leave my dear mudder alone and since the Lord made it known I should go I feel guilty a lot of the time for leaving you. (Sorry this part is directed towards mother)- But they started off relief society with "Don't feel guitly- serving a mission is the best Mothers Day gift you can give to your mother"- I cried and prayed and hoped that was true. Oh and THANK YOU so much for the package!! I just got it today!! I needed that sunrider. Some of the Latinos tried a packet of vita dophilus and said "Sabe como tierra" y yo dije, "Es la razon me lo encanta!" Thank you again you really are de best :)

Neil Anderson came Tuesday and gave a very powerful talk on the atonement and he specifically addressed those who have lost parents or siblings which was really cool and something I needed to hear. He told us how much more effective our teaching can be through these specific trials and how they prepared us to teach certain people. Which already appears to be true. Our progressive investigator that lost his sister just accepted baptism! And it might sound like, "Oh he is not real- NBD", but our teacher acts exactly like one of his converts and he happens to be the most stubborn and he makes it veryyyy difficult for all of the missionaries. It was funny how excited we got in the lesson when he said yes we started rambling about random cosas cause we just were too excited to think. Need to work on that. But missionary work became much more real to me this past week. One of our sisters in the zone just started packing her bags one night cause she was homesick and had ancidad. We went into her room and had an extremely cool slash triste experience with her. We were in there until 12 just testifying to her that we knew the Lord would assist her if she just moved forward in faith. Most of the girls and her whole district for that matter were crying cause we love her and already can see how much a mission can change her life, but more importantly the people in her mission. What was cool is we were all overwhelmed with this love for her that we knew was from God. I have heard stories where people feel this very strong love for someone they hardly know and it's cause the Lord is communicating to them through us. I neevr understood it until now, but we all felt it so strong. I felt it better to not overwhelm her and let her know we loved her no matter what and the Lord was proud of her for trying. Everyone was overwhelming her with this "Heavenly Father is disappointed in you" attitude and she ended up going home. I am at peace though that she will find other ways to serve and find happiness. I just felt the power of the spirit in the room and of God's love for her it was so like... tangible... I can't explain it. It got me so excited to find people in DC and feel that for them.

So today, specifically, has been crazy. My comp has been waiting for her Visa (she was supposed to leave over a month ago)- and they reassigned her like two hours ago to Ogden and she leaves at 7 AM! So everything is different now I will be a solo sister and have to change rooms and our pday has been prepping for that. I am super excited for her, but part of me feels like my husband is leaving me for another comp. It will feel super weird not to have her. I love her and am super excited for her, though. And by this time next week I will have started my VC training which I heard is beyond INCREDIBLE. Hermana Lewis (old comp de cuarto) would come back in tears at how strong she felt the spirit in trainging cause you work with real people.

Okay I am out of time. But you should let me know what all is new in MTOWN and the world for that matter. I heard Osama died and told one of the sisters and she was like strangely ecstatic. I guess she thought I said, "Obama died" and went and told a whole table full of people. But that is good news! And some Friday song? That's all I know. Seriously! I miss you all and hope everyone is doing wonderfully :) I CAN NOT WAIT TO TALK YOU ON THE 23RD!!! I should be getting my travel plans today so I think I will be able to let you know what time? LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH MWUAH!!!!